Love is in the air
Or is it?
Let me ask you a question…
What do you love about yourself?
You might be thinking, “Wait, what? Did she just ask me that? Hmmm…” Then, in the matter of less than a few seconds of consideration, what are the first things that come to mind?…
- “Well…I hate my thighs.”
- “I wish my tummy was flatter.”
- “I mean, I’ll never be that size again.”
- “And what about that right there…what’s that? Eww, fat. Yuck!”
For most, it’s almost always the areas or things we dislike or are unhappy about; the negative image we see of our body.
My wish for you is that you flip it…that you see the best of yourself first.
This brings us back to the original question I asked…
What do you love about yourself?
Now, I kind of ruined the question a little because I already shared the better alternative, however if you reflect on how you usually see yourself you already know the answers to the following…
- Is the way you see & speak to yourself positive or negative?
- Is the voice in your head a loving or abusive one?
- Is it kind and filled with grace or mean and unforgiving?
If you’re like many of us, you spend waaaaaaay too much time focused on the flaws; constantly critiquing yourself.
When we look at ourselves without love & respect it’s no wonder…
- We’re resistant to even getting started.
- We find it hard to create excitement for change.
- We have difficulty becoming our best self.
But, that’s why you’re here, why you’ve read this far, and why I’m sharing the question…
What Do You Love About Yourself?
I ask myself this question a lot.
You may find that surprising, however I’m no different than you.
There are definitely things I don’t like about look & shape.
We all know what we don’t like. And the mirror reminds us everyday.
Even if the mirror doesn’t, we unfortunately remind ourselves when we get dressed. Even worse is when a family member or friend reminds you because you’ve talked about what you dislike so much that even they point it out. UGH!
So what do we do to see ourselves in a better light?
Loving Yourself In Action
What I’ve found to be so much more impactful, even empowering is to look at, and even say (outloud) what you like about yourself.
Is it your arms? Say it.
Is it your booty? Say it.
Is it your waist, your eyes, your thighs, or your smile? Tell yourself what you love and why.
You may be thinking, “This is silly.” However, you DO have something you love about yourself. EVERYONE does! Here are 3 different ways to apply this type of self-love in your daily life. More.
A Meaningful Morning Message
We all know mornings can be hectic, but I encourage you to focus on making radical change each morning. Instead of the instant stress and anxiety about all the things you’ll need to do this morning you can do this while you’re still in bed…
Breathe with purpose in order to slow yourself down if you’re anxious or in order to steadily energize yourself if you’re tired. The focus here is to find a real sense of peace within the present moment. Next, ask yourself, with grace, what you love about yourself.
I like to answer from the perspective of someone I know who views me in the best light. For example, I answer in a way I know my daughter or mom would answer. They each have such a uniquely beautiful and loving attitude towards me that it lifts me up to see myself in the way they do. With a deep, unconditional love that I don’t have for myself yet.
As hard as it is to honestly say that statement, it is important for you to be that vulnerable and true with yourself. Don’t just imagine what they see, but I want you to feel what it would be like to be the one who sees your body, eyes, thighs, tris, waist, or other areas with that type of love.
This doesn’t have to take a long period of time. Start with 2-5 minutes at first. However, I would challenge you to continue to work your way up to a 10-15 minute practice of loving yourself.
This is a pattern interrupt for the woman in the mirror. Instead of critiquing yourself every time you see yourself in the mirror, I’d like you to put into practice what we just talked about earlier. When you see it, say it. Say what you love, what you’re thankful for, and point out something beautiful, even sexy about yourself. Don’t be shy. Be bold.
Wait, wait, wait. There is a catch.
It’s not really a catch, but I do have a couple rules…
First, what you say to yourself has to be TRUE. You can’t fake it until you make it. You cannot manifest anything with lies. Your brain knows the difference between BS & truth.
An extremely simplified way of saying this is, the brain is designed to give attention to anything new & different until we understand…
- what it is and…
- that it is safe.
It’s this process that begins new neurological connections. These connections are what lead to the consistent behavior changes needed to achieve the goal you want.
The brain registers BS when your thoughts, feelings & behaviors don’t align with the truth the brain experienced itself. Therefore, it also cannot justify that it is safe. In other words, if you haven’t gone through the process of applying (learning, doing, & being) it has little-to-no proof that it is safe and either maintains your current status quo or becomes more resistant to change.
When you are honest about the thoughts, feelings, & behaviors you’ve experienced on your journey while sharing real gratitude & appreciation the brain registers these things as “safe”. Once the brain knows this, it opens up the mind up to other aligning thoughts, feelings, behaviors, circumstances, and more.
This is the practice and power of gratitude. Honest appreciation is where manifesting begins.
Next, you cannot say the same thing twice. Each day, you have to choose a different attribute about yourself each time you do this in the mirror. For example, if you pass a mirror on Monday and say you love how soft your skin is looking or how you can make your friends laugh (it’s not all about looks!), you cannot use that one again for the rest of the day. This is a great place to start this practice.
After you’ve done this for 3-6 weeks, there’s a next level for Lady Leaders. I’m challenging you to identify and name different things about yourself for 7 days. You cannot duplicate any compliment you’ve given yourself for the whole week. The goal is not to just practice, but to make the act of seeing yourself in a positive light the everyday standard.
Model It More
We teach our daughter, kindness can only be spread when shared. What we mean is that when our daughter likes something we encourage her to share her appreciation. More specifically, we teach her to share the specifics with that person. She has to ask us before she goes and wanders off to talk to a stranger, but if she likes another person’s smile, hair, nails or whatever then we believe it’s good to speak your kind thoughts. This is another method of application!
When you see something about someone, pay them a compliment. Maybe it’s…
- someone is wearing something cute.
- you really like a woman’s lean arms.
- the effort & focus they have at the gym.
- two women & how they support each other.
Whatever it is, I challenge you to speak a kind word more when you’re out and about in public. Instead of comparing yourself to others and criticizing them or critiquing yourself. Share your appreciation and show kindness to other women who you may be afraid to compliment.
Regardless of how they might respond, kindness kills the problem of comparing ourselves to others and instead shows support for other women. This is how Lady Leaders directly & indirectly empower both ourselves and other women.
LADY LEADER LIFESTYLE ACTION ITEM:
Choose one of the above practices. A good morning message is a great place to start for anyone. Do it once a morning for 2-5 minutes.
If you feel you’re already decent at that, then I’d start with the mirror compliment challenge. Remember to start small, not repeating any compliments for 24 hrs and then advance your challenge; not using the same compliment more than once for 7 days straight. Each week starts a new compliment challenge cycle.
Still too easy? Pick two or all three or do the one that’s most difficult for you to do consistently and work on being consistent. You decide what will stretch you enough to not land in your comfort zone, but also doable.
Any time you do these, take a pic, tag me on IG @jacquelinesobotka and use the hashtags #LadyLeaderLifestyle #LoveYourself #NotASelfie so we can celebrate you.
Sending plenty of Lady Leader LOVE,